I turned 27 & everything clicked.
twenty-six was such a “re” year. lots of realigning, recalibrating, restoring, regenerating, rebuilding, and resilience.
It feels like I’ve retrieved all that I am, returned to myself, and arrived at my doorstep.
turning twenty-seven felt sweet and divine, like I slipped further into the coziness of my existence. I feel like I can truly relax into my being and my body. like I can build a home here vs. seeking and searching for home in so many other places. like I’ve become my favorite place and safe space.
these days, I’ve been giving my soul permission to rearrange the furniture—to curate its own feng shui. let me kick my feet up and sip on a cup of tea. this is good.
witnessing myself.
these days, I find myself in awe of myself often. I am being and becoming and taking notice of myself. I am bearing witness to the details of who I am.
"hey siri, play details by leon bridges."
I am actively practicing presence. relaxing into where I am vs. obsessing over where I feel I should or would like to be. affirming that this right here is still good too. that “I’m on the way” can be just as sweet as “I’ve arrived.”
I’m learning how to give things the time they require to unfold. there is no rush. no one is telling me to hurry up. it’s safe for me to take my time and take my worries off a pedestal.
trusting myself.
I trust the timing of my life. no need to strategize my way into satisfaction. it is my presence, my being in my body that serves as my greatest guide. no, I don’t have it all figured out and that used to terrify me. but now I feel a certainty that refuses to waver. I know I came here to self-actualize. to bloom right before my eyes. the self-soothing “it will be okay’s” no longer feel like lies in disguise. I feel rooted, planted even. I trust who I came here to be. I trust in my divinity.
patience & possibility.
~ allowing life to swoop me off my feet.
~ let me dust off the humdrum of despair and disappointment. there’s still so much more to see and be. so much more still in store. let me get dressed in possibility instead of wearing my weariness on my sleeve.
~ can I accept that this is just the time things take without taking it personally or making it mean anything about me? how would it feel to accept the inevitability of my harvest? trusting that it not arriving/taking form (yet) doesn’t mean it never will?
~ perseverance allows it to unfold.
~ ready but not rushing.
surrendering & relinquishing control.
surrendering to the “how.” giving myself permission to witness the goodness of life without worrying or overthinking so much. because worrying doesn’t create any extra guarantees; it just wears me down with unbelief.
~
I think I just got tired of trying to get life to bend and fold to some arbitrary timeline I created in my head. tired of trying to force things that weren’t ready or intended to unfold. tired of fighting with time. so these days, I just get on its side. I trust that what’s for me will arrive. these days, I just wanna play it cool with life. and trust that I’m where I need to be and that where I’m going will live up to (or be even better) than my dreams.
a birthday note to self.
be proud of where you are. know that circumstances aren’t static and can (and will) always change. take the pressure off of arriving and enjoy what “getting there” is molding you into. to be finished implies completion. so consider it a blessing that the fragments of your life declare that God isn’t done, that there’s still a ways to go, and that things are still taking form. don’t be discouraged by that. be excited! allow the liminal space to love on you and trust that the bridge of becoming will continue to make itself apparent at each intended point in the process. you are getting there. and you’ll arrive with accolades that no one can strip from you. because they’ll be earned and embedded.
learning to fall in love with the long game.
until next time,
kei 💌
