empty, in the best way.

Today I dropped everything.

I woke up this morning and gave myself permission to just be. To stay in bed as long as I needed to. To cry. To release. To not have a mental to-do list ruminating through my mind all day.

I have nothing left to give.

And I don’t say that in a defeated, I’m giving up kind of way, but in an I’ve outgrown my current circumstances, something’s gotta give, something’s gotta change kind of way. I have nothing left to give because I have so much more to gain. So much more life to experience. Places to see, people to meet, foods to eat, music to listen to, and art to create. My spirit is begging for more. More than this life I’ve started to snooze my alarm on. More than this life I have to drag myself out of bed for. More than this life that feels robotic and led by autopilot. This life that drains me just as quickly as I’m able to restore myself. This life that feels like I’m existing vs. living. Surviving vs. thriving.

I’m empty, but in the best way. It’s like giving away all of your clothes to start a new wardrobe that better aligns with who you are and who you’ve become. This emptiness feels like peace and relief. Like I’ve taken a load off. Like I’ve stopped carrying around dead weight. I’ve allowed myself to be emptied out so that I can have room for more vibrancy, more expansion, something new, something different, something fresh. I consider it a necessary pruning.

I have nothing left to give. And that makes me happy. Because it means I've given all I could and that it’s time to be planted elsewhere. I’m not 100% sure what that looks like, but I’m prepared to find out.